MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."--Oren Arnold

So...... I figured that since I'm up BEFORE the crack of dawn like a kid on Christmas (and I barely slept after work yesterday), I needed to write a little something.

"Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age." --Carrie Latet

I was actually scheduled to work last night, but THANK GOODNESS I got put on call. I worked the night before (Christmas Eve, eve) and when I got home, I only slept about 4 hours and woke up and for the life of me, COULD NOT go back to sleep. I got up, got ready, went to the early Christmas Eve service at church and luckily they put me on call. I was able to go spend some time with Natalie's family, exchange presents with her and just chill out last night, of course watching A Christmas Story. Now, here I sit, not being able to sleep once again.

But I have another reason for this post. At first I was kind of frustrated for having to work around the holidays. This is the first year ever that I've had to work on the actual holiday (even as a nurse). I worked Thanksgiving night and the night before Christmas eve and was supposed to work Christmas Eve. I kept thinking about how I just really didn't want to work and how tired I was going to be on Christmas day trying to do that family thing and the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got. One day my sweet friend Lee, who is a CONSTANT voice of reason for me reminded me that on the Eve of Jesus' birth, I would be helping to bring the greatest gift of all to mothers and that's the gift of life since I work in Labor & Delivery. I had never thought of it that way, and she had a good point but it still didn't settle all that well with me. I mean who wants to be at work on Christmas?? Allow me to continue...

Over the last month, I have had a patient on our high-risk OB unit who was scheduled to have her C-Section on Christmas Eve morning. She has been such a wonderful patient. She has had her 3 yr old daughter there with her almost everyday as well and she has really become like family to all of us. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met and just incredibly grateful for everything. I have had many talks with her late at night and one thing she said to me that I will never forget is "you can't miss something you never had". She will admit that she has had a rough life and that's what makes her so grateful for any blessing God gives her. She often talked about how much of a blessing I, along with the other nurses were to her, but what she didn't realize was what a blessing she was to me. I am truly going to miss her. I am going to miss seeing her get excited to see me walk in her room and seeing her daughter run up to me and beg me to pick her up. Just knowing that I have a patient that is excited to see me and appreciates me that much, makes me job worth it. Every morning when I would leave, she would always ask when I would be back. I got the priveledge of being with her and running the OR room during her C-Section Christmas Eve morning and everything went great! It was so neat to be with her during the last month and then be there with her during the "finale" so to speak. To be able to be there to meet her little boy when he was born on Christmas. Life really is the greatest gift of all, and being in that operating room that morning reminded me that's what Jesus being born on Christmas is all about. He was born to ultimately die on the cross to give US LIFE. That's what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. I know am just as bad as anyone else about getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of shopping and such, but Jesus really is the reason for the season.

"But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." --Luke 2:10-12

Tis The Season to be MERRY!

Well...the Christmas season is in full force. Our christmas trees are decorated (almost), as Natalie put it the other day, "it looks like Christmas has thrown-up on our house" and my iPod is continuously playing the sweet tunes of Christmas. I must say...I LOVE IT!! I am always anticipating this time of year...well...year round! There is something about Christmas that is different to me. I'm sure most of you would agree with me. I'm so glad my roommate shares the same passion about the holidays as I do (thank goodness I don't live with a Scrooge!) We have our tree up (but it's not completely decorated yet-we got tired), our house is decorated and I even put a little tree up in my room! I had this little 5-6 foot tree from a couple years ago and decided that since my room was plenty big enough, I should have my own. I got some of those big bulbed/old-timey lights and used some of my "meaningful" ornaments and decorated it up. Here's the finished productNot too bad for a small tree huh? Anyways....my next favorite thing..MUSIC! Over the last couple of years I have created a pretty big Christmas music playlist on my iPod. Every season I continue to find new stuff I like that just adds to the list. I have such a wide variety I have everything from Louis Armstrong to Jack Johnson to Amy Grant to Shane & Shane to Bing Crosby to Ingrid Michaelson to Third Day to Mariah Carey to Kenny G to Trans Siberian Orchestra and more! Right now, thanks to Tyler, my favorite album that is on constant repeat is the Shane & Shane Christmas album Glory in the Highest.
I have to admit though, not only do I love the old classics, but I love finding new artists that take a new twist on the old ones. I also like new artists that have completely new songs. Don't get me wrong some of them just totally not right for Christmas music (such as Lady GaGa), but here are a few that I've come across that are some of my current faves:

1.) It Came Upon a Midnight Clear- Sixpence None the Richer

2.) The Christmas Song- Gavin Degraw

3.) Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow- Michael Buble (the whole album is good)

4.) Snowfall- Ingrid Michaelson

5.) Christmastime is Here- A Fine Frenzy

6.) Wintersong- Sara Barellis & Ingrid Michaelson

7.) Greensleeves- Vanessa Carlton

8.) Auld Lang Syne -Mairi Campbell (anyone that is a fan of SATC will know this version is from the movie)

9.) Last Christmas-GLEE cast (LOVE LOVE LOVE this show!!)

10.) Mistletoe- Colbie Caillat

11.)Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer- Jack Johnson

12.) Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas- Tyler Hilton ( I also like Coldplay's version too)

13. ) Winter Snow -Chris Tomlin & Audrey Assad

14. ) O Come, O Come Emmanuel- Enya

15.) Silent Night- Priscilla Ahn

16. ) Eternal Gifts- Leigh Nash

That's just a few of many. Hope everyone is having a great start to the holiday season! 

God sees the big picture...

I read this and it was definitely something that I needed to hear. Just thought I would share it! 

Today, choose to keep an attitude of faith and expectancy. Begin to thank Him for the opportunities that are just ahead for you. Shut the door on fear and let God lead you by His peace through the door of opportunity He has prepared for you! "I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close" -Revelations 3:8

I know there are lots of times that I get scared or worried about the future or what's going on in my life. Sometimes I doubt the fact that God is working in MY favor.  The Bible tells us that God works for the good of those who love Him. A great quote that I read just the other day goes along great with this. It says:

"When God takes something from your grasp He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

I have to believe that's the truth. Even when I don't understand why things don't work out when or how I want them to. I have to know that there's a reason...GOD'S reason. He is only doing it because He loves me and can see the big picture while I only see what's going on right now. Last Sunday my pastor, Brother Steve preached a great sermon on worrying. He talked about how worrying is a sin and no sin is any worse than the other. I think about how much I worry over the smallest things sometimes and really, it's ridiculous! Truth is, if we're worrying, we aren't trusting. I have faith knowing that whatever God has planned for me (which has to be good) will happen. I love the verse in Job where it says, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." (42:2). That's so comforting to know! And I can think back to times in my life where I can clearly see that the Lord's will was done one way or another. I may have fought against Him hard, but in the end, He won and it was most definitely for the better. Of course I didn't think so at the time, but I am able to see it now....

Perfect Love

I remembered someone giving me this to read a couple years ago when I was going through a tough time and it really spoke to me. Just thought I would share it....

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to the Christian, says, "No, not until you are satisfied and content with living, loved only by me alone to have an intensely personal and unique relationship. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that i have planned for you. You will NEVER be united with another until you are united with me - exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan exsiting, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Keep watching me, expecting the GREATEST things. Keep that attitude knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait, don't be anxious and worry. Don't look around at what others have gotten or who i have given them. Don't look at the things or relationships you think you want. Just keep looking up to me, or you will miss what I have to show you. When you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you will ever dream. You see, until the one I have for you is ready, (I am working this minute to have you both ready at the same time) and until you are both satisfied with me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me -PERFECT LOVE"

GIVING..it's the gift that keeps on giving!

"Everyday, we get to give the gift of life. It can be painful. It can be terrifying. But in the end,it's worth it; Every time. We all have the opportunity to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic as what happens in the operating room. Maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology. Maybe it's to understand another persons point of view. Maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend. The joy supposedly is in the giving. So when the joy is gone, when the giving starts to feel more like a burden, that's when you stop. But if you're like most people I know, you give till it hurts...and then you give some more." --Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

This quote was from the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy which was the "holiday" episode. When I heard her say it, it really struck me. When the holiday season rolls around, a lot of us get caught up in the shopping and all the superficial stuff. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely all about some shopping and I LOVE the holiday season; it's my absolute favorite time of year, but sometimes I have to stop and remind myself of what it's really all about. I have found that when I give a gift, give of myself or of my time that's when I receive the most joy. I was starting to feel sort of down about this holiday season because of various reasons, but a very dear friend of mine reminded me that I will be doing a great thing on Christmas eve (working) which will be bringing life into the world on the day of Jesus' birth! How neat is that?! That really helped me change my perspective on things. Because helping bring life into the world is really the greatest gift of all. God gave His one and only son, Jesus for each and every one of us. That's what Christmas is all about...and I'm constantly having to stop and remind myself of that when I catch myself getting caught up in other things...

Taking time to stop and smell the roses...

Have you ever felt like you were waiting to hear from God and you couldn't hear Him? Have you ever felt like you couldn't hear His tiny whispers and if He wanted you to hear something He was literally going to have to shout it to you? Sometimes we hear those tiny whispers and it's such a wonderful feeling because it's almost like feeling something soft & simple...like a cool breeze blowing through your hair. But sometimes, for me, I feel such unrest about something and for whatever the reason may be, I'm not hearing His soft, gentle whisper. For that reason, I NEED Him to SHOUT to me; put it RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE where there is NO WAY I can miss it. Let me share with you what God has been literally been shouting at me the last couple of days. 

CONTENTMENT! God has basically been saying to me to just be content with where I am in my life RIGHT NOW and not worry about WHERE I AM GOING or WHERE I WANT TO BE. That topic has been brought up on several occasions in the last couple of days and I have just felt like God has wanted me to hear it. Not only has God used people to speak that to me, but also for me to voice that to others that may need to hear it. It's really an awesome thing! My roommate, Natalie and I were enjoying a great moment together the other night. We had spent the entire day together (which contrary to popular belief, doesn't happen often even though we DO live together) and we were starting dinner, drinking some hot apple cider together and Natalie said, "It really doesn't get any better than this does it Amy?" and me being negative said "Well, I guess it could" and she boldly started saying how we need to enjoy where we are because if we are constantly worried about the next step in our lives then we can't enjoy the moments now. The cliche that comes to mind is "taking time to stop and smell the roses". I know, it's a horrible cliche, but it's true. And a great quote that goes along with that is:

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; 

remember that what you now have was once among the things 

you only hoped for."

A great way of thinking about it is that when you graduate high school, all you can think about is moving out, then when you move out, all you can think about is graduating college and starting your "grown-up job". In the middle of all of that I'm sure you're thinking about dating and such...your heart longs to find "that person". Well, you find someone...you start dating and it's perfect, everything you dreamed it would be (but of course it's not enough), you start thinking about when you will get engaged and get married because now that's ALL YOU WANT is just to be married, while at the same time you don't want to live with your rooomate anymore, you JUST want to buy a house of your own (because at this point you are in your "grown-up" job that you so badly wanted a couple years ago). So, now you're "happily" married and you've just bought a new house. You've been married a couple of years, but now ALL you want is children and of course you need a new car because you can't drive that 2 door sports car  anymore because kids can't fit in that!...I won't continue with the story because we all know how it goes....we are never completely happy and we all know that once we attain one level of what we think we want, we always want more...it's never enough, that's just life and our sinful nature I'm afraid. But what God is teaching me right now is really just to find contentment in where I am and more importantly in Him. He is going to give me what I NEED.  If we don't take time to enjoy the season in which we are in, we will miss it! We will miss out on SO many memories and fun things we could be doing RIGHT NOW and what God is teaching us RIGHT NOW because we're too worried about what's down the road or what we aren't getting. Trust me, I'm the world's worst about doing this, but I've realized that it's time for a change. I think I'm definitely going to try my best to take more time to stop and smell the roses because if I don't, I could miss one that smells REAL sweet! :) 

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." --Romans 8:25

Inspiration in the little things...

Last weekend I went to the race in Talladega with Jill, Kyle and Matthew. We had a really good time just hanging out and observing the "culture" around us because let me tell you, it is definitely a different culture of people at the races :)

Most of you who know me and know me well, know that I LOVE music (I'm sure I've mentioned that once or twice). I seem to find lots of inspiration in music. I have recently found a new artist that I love, Brandon Heath. I may be a little late finding him, but I love his music. There is a song of his called "Give Me Your Eyes" and the lyrics are phenomenal. Here they are:

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Wasnt it far beyond my reach?
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
Hes out of work
Hes buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

Ive Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone

To me, this song proves that we just need to be more mindful that other people are going through tough times just like we are. I've come to realize that everyone has a story; everyone has a past, but if we all could learn to see each other through His eyes, even just a smidgen, we might have a little more compassion....a little more grace towards others. We have to learn to meet people where they are because we never know when we might be in a place hoping for someone to meet us...

It's just a bunch of Hocus Pocus...

I have realized it's been a while since I last posted, so I figured I needed to while I had a few minutes. I went a couple weeks ago with my sunday school class at First Baptist Church Opelika to paint a lady's house for a My Jerusalem project. What that is, is where a couple times a year groups in the community get together a complete about 50 projects around the community. These are projects such as painting houses, doing yard work, plumbing work on houses, putting roofs on houses etc. Anything that needs doing, these groups do it! Not only was I doing work for Jesus, but I had fun in the process! It's so rewarding to know that I am helping someone who truly needs help and otherwise wouldn't be able to complete the task themselves.On a different note, actually, tonight, our sunday school class had a Halloween party. We dressed up in costumes, carved pumpkins, ate good food and just had a good ole time. I really enjoyed being able to dress up (I always LOVE to do that!) and just hang out with good friends and laugh. Here are some pictures from our fun night!

























Such a fun time! And more fun to come this weekend! I'm off to the races at Talladega!! Gentlemen...start your engines!!! :) Oh yeah..and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Vicariously living through all my wonderful friends..

Lately I have decided to start living vicariously through my wonderful friends. Although, I have to admit to myself that I do have a pretty good life (even when it doesn't feel like it sometimes). I am independent, I am fortunate to have found an awesome person to live with (my Natty), I have amazing friends that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world, I just got back from a great trip to Vegas, I have a good job that I love doing (most of the time) and so much more! You're thinking what more could a girl ask for, right?? Well...I guess there are lots of things I could think of, but I WON'T GO INTO THAT. :)

It has really hit me lately what amazing friends I have. These are the kind of friends that I know will last me a lifetime. God has been SO good to me in placing the right people in my life at exactly the right time-He is SO faithful! Even though I may lose touch with some of my good friends, we always pick up right where we left off and that is simply something money can't buy. There is a quote that comes to mind when I think of my friends:

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” --Anais Nin

That quote is so true in so many ways because each friend truly represents a different world in us. I believe God places people in our lives to fulfill different purposes. It's neat to me how people come into your life that you never thought would, but end up being apart of your life forever. I have certain friends that I consider to be my "voice of reason", friends that make me laugh all the time, friends that just listen, friends that I share my deepest darkest secrets with etc..

Lots of my friends are married and have children (or have babies on the way) and although that is something that I want, I have learned just to "live vicariously" through them until it's my turn. I love all of my friends (and their babies) dearly and love sharing their lives with them. I consider it a TRUE blessing.

Smiling..and VEGA$!!

Ok..so I have been on a little hiatus from the blogging world, but I am BACK! I just got back from a vacation in VEGAS and am ready to write!

So I left last Monday and made my way to Las Vegas. I must say..it was SO great to go and visit and see the city of lights. Let me tell you, it was definitely full of them (amongst other things that I won't go into). All around it was a good trip. I have always said I wouldn't gamble (I have learned to never say never), but I ended up actually playing some slots (the penny machines). One morning..I was up by myself and decided to play. I lost a little and it kinda kept going up and down for a while..then I hit the jackpot!! (well...the jackpot for me anyways). I won $250 betting 60 cent!!! You can't believe the excitement and surprise I felt! I pretty much stopped while I was ahead, which was probably a good idea. I got to see lots of the casinos, the Vegas sign (something I really wanted to do) and got to see the Blue Man group!We sat front row and center in the splash zone. They were pure awesomeness!!! OMG!! Just watch the video to get a little snippet of what I got to see..it was incredible and so much fun!
Another thing I have been thinking about is laughter. Seriously...if someone asked me my most favorite thing ever in life, it would be LAUGHTER! I was thinking about how much a good laugh means to me and how I love it when something just makes me laugh so loud that I can't even control it. It really is THE BEST feeling in the world to me. I also had a thought about smiling (goes hand in hand with laughter, right?). Someone actually came up to me on the street in Vegas and said "you look scared...you should smile!". That got me to thinking..I love laughing and smiling, so I need to do it MORE. I think of myself as a happy person most of the time, but have realized that my face may not always show it. I found a few quotes I really like about smiling/laughter....

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.--Unknown

A laugh is a smile that bursts.
-- Mary H. Waldrip

A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
-- Author Unknown

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.
-- Author Unknown

If you smile at someone, they might smile back.
-- Author Unknown

The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
-- Shirley MacLaine

Thank Goodness God Doesn't Make Junk!

I watched this video tonight and I HAD to post it and write about it. Please take the time to watch it because it is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! It will definitely bless your heart because it most certainly blessed mine.

It is SO true that God knows what we need even before we realize it or even know we need it. It continues to amaze me how things happen and then I realize "that was SO God". It's such a neat and comforting feeling when I actually realize that. This video has such a good message and God knew that I NEEDED to hear it. Lately, I feel like I am in such a battle with the enemy. I feel like just when things start going good and I am happy in the place God has me, the enemy comes along and tries to make me believe otherwise. The enemy is VERY good at doing that...very good at casting doubt. But the truth is, if we can recognize when it's the enemy, then we really have the upper hand. We can choose to believe the lies the enemy tells us everyday, or we can choose to believe the truth that our Heavenly Father tries to impress upon us everyday. It is hard not to believe the enemy..he is very good at what he does, but God is SO much bigger and better. I make a concious decision everyday to believe what I know to be TRUTH. God says He will make us His masterpiece and He doesn't make junk. He created each and every one of us in HIS image....and anything He creates is "good".

For so long I have let the enemy tell me that I am really not a good person or good enough etc. But God tells me different. Sometimes we get to points in our lives (just like the video says) where God is trying to "chisel" away what shouldn't be there. I'm sure if you sat down and thought about it, it wouldn't take you long to come up with a BIG list of things that shouldn't be in your life. I know I can. Another way God has come through and helped me defeat the enemy is by words of encouragement through my wonderful friends. I have realized that over the last 2 or 3 days, I have gotten so many words of encouragement and I had no clue where it was coming from...then I realized..this is God. This is God letting me know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and whatever bad opinions I may have of myself simply aren't true--they are lies. So watch the video and BE ENCOURAGED!!!

It's Been a While

It has been FOREVER since my last blog post, so I figured while I had some free time, I would try to write a little and post some pictures. A couple of weeks ago I went to Birmingham to visit with Dacy, Robert and DC. While I was there, I also got to hear some friends (Jaden South) play at a place called Wine'd Down. It was really a neat place and tons of fun! Here are some pics from that weekend.


Lately, I have just been working (still lovin' nights!) and just hanging out. I am getting ready for my big trip to Vegas in September!! I'm SOOOOO excited! It's definitely going to be an experience that's for sure!

So...for some reason, as I sit here looking at the computer, my mind has drawn a blank. Normally when I sit down to "blog", I have tons to say, but for some reason tonight, the words just won't come. I guess I will leave you with this thought :

"We cannot go back and start a new beginning, but we can start today and make a new ending."

I found this and I really liked it...thought I would share...

"Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive and bless us with patience and empathy and love. "

WOW!! Makes you stop and thinking huh?

Letting Go and Letting God

I found this in a little monthly devotional called "Journey" and thought I would share it. It really spoke to me.

"When someone has hurt you, forgiving that person is the only step to take toward growing, healing and moving on. In order to free yourself from chains of bitterness and anger, release any thoughts of revenge.

Forgiveness is an ongoing work of the Holy Spirit, so don't be alarmed if your anger takes a while to fade and doesn't disappear immediately after you've made the choice to forgive someone. Depending on how much you were hurt, you may have to continue to forgive on deeper levels as the Holy Spirit reveals how badly you've been wounded. When life isn't going like we expect it to or want it to, it's time to take a closer look at our expectations. Behind our expectations our pride and self-centeredness give our wishes and desires preeminence. When we get upset because life isn't going like we planned, it often reveals exactly how strongly we believe that we are more deserving or more important than others. The truth is, life does not revolved around us. Plus, we live in a fallen world, so life will most likely not go according to our plans.

When your expectations aren't met, talk to God about it. Acknowledge to Him that His ways aren't always your ways, and ask Him to help you let go of your expectations and depend on Him. When someone's telling us something we don't want to hear, but they're right and we're wrong, it's time for us to swallow our pride, take advice and change....."

My mom actually gave this to me to read and I was like "WOW! if that's not God speaking to me, then I don't know what is!" The last part where it talks about life not going as you had planned...MAN! That is SO me right now. I think lately (just being honest), I have felt a little...down. I can't really put my finger on why exactly, but I think after reading that, it helped me a lot. I think I have just been feeling lately that nothing is going my way. (Sounds like a 5 yr old doesn't it??). It seems like everything I touch is doomed for failure or something. Maybe I am in a depressed mood..I don't really know, but all I know is that I want OUT of this FUNK--NOW!! It's like the devotion said, I know I just need to take that and lay it before God. Let Him know what my expectations are and give all that up to Him. I need to let Him handle it. He knows far better what is best for me than I could EVER imagine. I THINK I know what's best for me, but He has definitely proved me wrong there before. I need to remember times where God has proven himself to me the most and know that He is taking care of me. Even in this season of my life where I feel like nothing is going right...He is there, every step of the way, taking care of me..I just have to let HIM guide my steps. Maybe I haven't been doing that as much as I thought I have...maybe it's time to really hand it all over...but that's the hard part right?? Actually handing it over? I know God is trying to draw me closer to Him right now...now more than ever maybe...and I just need to surrender it all. I am starting the Beth Moore study in the next week or so called "Esther" and let me just tell you--I am PUMPED!! It's gonna be awesomeness! Here is a quote from the study that I found, that I L-O-V-E!!

"Even those most serious about their pursuit of God and godliness fail to be perfect examples all the time.... The mystery is not that an earthly hero can still be flawed and fall to cultural pressures but that God, in His mercy, chooses at times to retain only the snapshots He took when they were standing firm."--Beth Moore

Love This!

"My heart has seen difficulty. My life has been changed. The fact that I belong to Jesus has not changed, and although tragedy and heartache have come knocking on my door and I have repeatedly asked why, He has told me that sometimes the answer is not as important as the faith it takes to ask the question. I may ask why, but I won't let the lack of a full blueprint trouble my heart. I won't be troubled by the lack of answers. Instead, I will let that perfect peace rest deep in my heart and soul--the peace that even as I ask the same questions again and again, I may not get every answer just this second but I will be safe and He will provide for me, like a parent cares for a child. The peace that He loves me and that He knows how much of the answer I can handle right now, and how much needs to be saved for later."
---Anonymous

Famous Words...Not Mine...

I thought I would do a post of some of my favorite quotes and what they mean to me. I already have some of them posted on my facebook (if you have seen my facebook profile) and some of them on my blog site as well. But just in case you care, or if you're like me at all and LOVE quotes...here ya go!

"Find someone who makes your circle just, someone with whom you want to end each day where you began."
--- Dr. Charles Hannah

*I got this quote from my 12th grade AP English teacher (most of you probably know him). He was such a hard teacher, but he really was very smart. At the end of the year, he gave us this typed out sheet of "life lessons" we could carry with us from all the stories and poems that he made us read. This was one of them. I can't remember from which story it could be applied, but I really liked it. You really do want to make sure you find that person "with whom you want to end each day where you began".

"Not all love stories are epic novels. Some are short stories, but that doesn't mean they are any less filled with love." Carrie, SATC

*This was from the SATC movie. I love it because it's saying that a relationship (love) doesn't have to be a long one to be meaningful. You can date someone a few weeks, a few months a few years and it is just a meaningful. I have always thought that it's not the labels you put on relationships that matter; it's what's in your heart. :)

"Nothing changes the human heart so deeply as to look bad in the presence of love, to be seen with all that is wickedly ugly about us and to still be wanted, more, to be delighted in. That's grace." --Larry Crabb

*This came from the book The Papa Prayer. It is such a good book; I recommend it to anyone. I read it about a year and a half ago which was right around the time that God was really teaching me about grace. Sure, I have always heard about grace, sung about grace (Amazing Grace), but never really thought about what grace actually is. Grace is definitely something we as sinners don't deserve, but because Jesus died on the cross for our sins..that's grace....when we get something we don't deserve. I have also realized that when something bad happens, God can take it and make something good out of it...that's grace. This quote is saying that when we are seen for all that we are even when it's bad (wickedly ugly) and we are still wanted and even more than that...DELIGHTED IN...that's GRACE!

"When we expect to be satisfied with the basics, God will often surprise us with treats." --James MacDonald

*This is from a book called "Lord, Change My Attitude Before It's Too Late". I was reading this book last summer during a bible study and I must say..it's a must read also. It's so true that if we just basically take what God has given us and expect to just be satisfied with that; satisfied even if it's only with Him...then the blessings come...

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."--Anonymous

*You know how sometimes you wait and wait for something and you finally get it? You are SO excited that you finally got whatever it was that you had wanted for so long. Well..after a while that "thing" that you wanted so dearly just becomes the "norm"...it's not so...special anymore. Then you start wanting something else. The thing we need to remember (and I am definitely guilty of this) is that we still need to continue to treasure what it was that we wanted in the first place even if we start longing for something else..because if you remember..that first thing...used to be something you only hoped for..

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.." --Ephesians 3:20

*This is one of my favorite verses in the bible. I don't think this one needs much explanation..God really can do IMMEASURABLY MORE than we could EVER ask or imagine!!

"Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It may all be gone tomorrow." --Grey's Anatomy

*This was on the season finale of Grey's Anatomy this year and it gave me chills when Meredith said it. Those words really hit home with me. So many times we just go about our everyday life and we don't tell the people we love how much we really do love them and how much they mean to our lives. We don't appreciate the people in our lives, the things in our lives, the direction our lives are going...we don't appreciate the little things. We should all "take time to stop and smell the roses" because it really could all be gone tomorrow.

"You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soulmate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?" --Grey's Anatomy

*This one, also from Grey's Anatomy except for it was Izzie who said it. I just really liked it....that's all...


Well..there ya have it..some of my favorites quotes. Just thought I would share! :)

Deuces!!

Happiness

I absolutely LOVE The Fray!! I have liked them ever since they came out with their very first single "Over My Head (Cable Car) a few years ago. A few months ago I purchased their 2nd album and I must say that I am in love! Here is one of my favorites off the album..its called "Happiness"

"Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home"

So here goes another one of my lyric interpretations. This song has great meaning. It's obviously talking about happiness. I think they hit the nail on the head with this one too. It's basically saying that happiness is not something that should be looked or searched for..it's something that should just...happen. I like the part where he says, "Happiness feels a lot like sorrow. Let it be, you can’t make it come or go. But you are gone- not for good but for now.
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good." He is saying you can't make happiness (which is alot like sorrow) come or go. Then, to me, it's like he is saying happiness is gone (not for good) but just for now. Maybe he has gone through something that has hurt him, made him sad, made him wish each day would get better. He knows that eventually it WILL get better, that the sorrow he feels WILL go away and he WILL be happy again, but basically the way he feels right now, feels like he won't ever be happy again. He feels like happiness is gone for good. We have all been in those situations. Situations where we can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Situations where it's hard to put a smile on our face even though we need to.

My favorite part in the whole song is towards the end where he says, "Happiness is like the old man told me. Look for it, but you’ll never find it all. Let it go, live your life and leave it. Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home". He is saying don't go looking for happiness; just let it go and go on about your life. Then out of the blue one day, happiness will find you. I believe this is how God works. Sometimes there are things in our lives that we hold on to so tight and all God wants us to do is give it to Him. He is there waiting and most of the time we are the ones fighting. We are fighting it because we want to have control. But why do you think God wants it this way? He wants it this way because that's what's best for us and that's how we will ultimately be happy. Most of the time, the moment we give something up to God, that's when He surprises us. Isn't that SO neat?! God wants to do that for us! He wants to give us the desires of our hearts if we would just let Him. He knows what's best for us so much more than we do.

Here is the song in case you want to hear it. :)

Bearable to Beauty

So..for those of you who know me well, know that I LOVE quotes. I have said it once and I will say it again, I feel like sometimes the words of others can say it better than I can (same way with music). Here is a quote from a very wise woman:

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."

---Beth Moore

When I read that quote it really spoke to me. It made me realize that this is what God has been trying to do with me for a long time and I just haven't let Him. Most of the time when we go through trials we know that we are supposed to learn something from them, but the thing is, I think sometimes we miss what God is trying to teach us (I know I have!). I think we end up getting so impatient with whatever situation or season we are in, in our lives that we kinda just give up. We think that this is how it's going to be all the time and don't realize that if we just learn the valueable lesson God is teaching us, we will most definitely come out better on the other side. I LOVE the part where she says "we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner." I think she is SO right! We get to where we are comfortable leading our own lives and we are easily drawn off course. The devil is very good and sneaky at doing things like that. He sees that we are getting closer to God and His perfect will, and it angers him, so he knows our weak spots and tries to push us to the limits. He does everything he can to veer off the course that God is so desperately trying to take us on. I have definitely noticed this in my own life. If our relationship is so rooted in God, we can fight the enemy, so that we no longer "settle for bearable", but we get to enjoy the "beauty".

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength... Therefore the Lord LONGS to be gracious to you, and exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are those who wait for Him." --Isaiah 30:15,18-20

Birthday, Rock Band and a Lesson..

This past weekend was my weekend to work (I only work 1 weekend a month). My rotation works Thursday night-Sunday night. Friday afternoon I got a call from the hospital asking if I just wanted to be on call Friday night--HECK YEAH!! So, I was able to go hang out with some girls from work for Niki's birthday. Let me tell you, it was SO much fun! We just hung out, played Rock Band and it was good for me to spend some time with my co-workers outside of work because I have really wanted to try to get to know them better! Here are some pics from the night.
Night Shift Gals!
One day last week I got to help my friend Lee with her baby for the day. She wasn't feeling well and just wanted an extra hand, so I said SURE! I did EVERYTHING! From feeding him, to playing with him, to changing his diaper, to bathing him...everything! He loves his boppy....

On another note, I was reading a friends blog and I loved her post! She had actually read one of her friends blogs and was passing along a message from that blog (did that make ANY sense??) She was talking about a book called "Can You Drink the Cup". I have never heard of it but after reading this quote she posted, I am definitely going to read it! Here is the quote she posted.

"Just as there are countless varieties of wine, there are countless varieties of lives. No two lives are the same. We often compare our lives with those of others, trying to decide whether we are better or worse off, but such comparisons do not help us much. We have to live our life, not someone else's. We have to hold our own cup. We have to dare to say: "This is my life, the life that is given to me, and it is this life that I have to live, as well as I can. My life is unique. Nobody else will ever live it. I have my own history, my own family, my own body, my own character, my own friends, my own way of thinking, speaking, and acting- yes, I have my own life to live. No one else has the same challenge. I am alone, because I am unique. Many people can help me to live my life, but after all is said and done, I have to make my own choices about how to live."

Can we say wow?! That is so true! There are so many times that we compare ourselves to others, what others are doing with their lives and what they have (I am INCREDIBLY guilty of that). But we need to realize that our life is unique. God has set us apart. We can't lead someone else's life, and the cool thing is, no one else can be US! I really needed to hear that today and wanted to continue to share. I think it's neat how God can speak to us through other people's blogs. If God has spoken to one person through my blog, then my babbling is so worth it!

Coming Back to the Heart of Worship

This past weekend was such a good weekend. Not only did I get to spend some sweet time with my friends Dacy and Robert in Birmingham, but I really felt like God spoke to me as well. Today was Robert's birthday (along with his very first Father's Day), so initially it was supposed to be a "birthday surprise" that Kyle and I were coming, but Dacy ended up having to spill the beans, but in the end, it was a great weekend. They have such a precious 3-month old baby girl, Dacy Caroline. It is just SO neat to watch Dacy and Rob with her. Dacy and Rob have been good friends of mine for years now. Dacy and I went to high school together and then I was in their wedding and now I am able to share in their joy of having a daughter! It's just SO neat how life changes. Here are a couple pics from the weekend.

Sunday was so great because we got to go visit Rob and Dacy's church, Clearwater Community Church (which I LOVE!) I felt like I was back in "Revolution" which used to be our college ministry at FBCO. Chris Harris was the college minister then and now he has started his own church in Birmingham (Chelsea) with quite a few of the same people that were leaders during the "Revolution" days. But the great thing about church this morning was the worship. To be perfectly honest, I have felt a bit disconnected from my worship for quite some time now. I used to LOVE praise and worship..it was one of my FAVORITE things to do above anything else and lately I have just sorta lost touch with that. Maybe it's because I need more of a contemporary style of worship and I haven't been involved with that lately. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sunday school class that I am in at FBCO, Mrs. Karen Scoggins is wonderful, and I feel like I'm being fed there in such a great way. But at the same time, after experiencing the type of worship I did today, it is starting to make me think otherwise. The praise band led us in a song called "Marvelous Light" and it really hit home. Not only is that such an amazing praise song, my eyes were filling up with tears, and I felt like in THAT MOMENT, I was coming back to the heart of worship. I felt like the Holy Spirit just came to me and filled me up like an empty cup, and it was such a marvelous feeling; like no other. It felt so wonderful to be able to sing at the top of my lungs and cry out to Jesus and know that He heard me. I must admit that I have struggled lately with sort of finding my place in church. I thought I had definitely found my place when I joined the One2One sunday school class about a year or so ago. It has blessed me so much and I have found great friends through that, but I am starting to think now it is time for me to try and branch out a little. I think my heart needs that contemporary worship, so I may try doing that for a while. Lately I have just been feeling a sense of "unrest" I think. I couldn't really put my finger on a word to describe what I have been feeling lately, but Natalie put it perfect to me when she said "Amy, I think you are just feeling lots of unrest right now." I think she hit the nail on the head. I am settled into my new job and the whole night shift thing is going really well! The Lord has blown me away by that. He has totally helped me adjust to nights so easily and I am SO thankful for that. I was so nervous about it and worried that it was going to turn my world upside down to be on night shift (I NEVER thought I would have been able to stay awake at night, much less sleep during the day), but God has totally made that transition easy for me. That's lets me know (even in something small) that He will provide for me; He will take care of me when I need it. He knows our needs even when we don't even know. Isn't that awesome?! It reminds me of a verse that I love that says,

"Now to him who is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..."
Ephesians 3:20

And that verse reminds me of another great verse,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

I have definitely heard that verse plenty of times before, but it's one I need to hear right now. He is telling us to not worry about anything, but take our requests to God. Tell him what you want/what you think you need. Tell Him your fears, tell him your feelings; that's what He is there for. I have realized that if I am upset, I can cry to God. I can tell Him that I don't understand, I can tell him that I'm mad/upset/hurt...He is the ultimate comforter. It's hard not to worry about things. But a footnote in my bible says, "Whenever you start to worry, stop and pray." I guess in my case, I should be praying a whole lot more than I am, because I know I'm a worry wort.

Although some parts of this weekend were tough for me, I definitely had an eye-opening experience today. It was something I needed..something I think my heart has needed for a while now; just needed to be in the right place. Here is a video of "Marvelous Light".

Praying through a Storm...

Here is a blog from a sweet family I know Mike and April Reed. He has been battling Hodgkin's disease for quite some time now. Here is a recent post by April:

"I try not to blog much about cancer, but I guess I can break my own rule every once in a while. I feel like God wants me to open up about this subject. So, if you're looking for some cute pictures and fun stories, this probably won't be the post for you:)

This September will be 10 years since Mike's initial diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma {yes, the one with a 90% cure rate.} Mike will be 30 next month. He was diagnosed when he was 19 years old. He's spent almost 1/3 of his life with cancer. He hasn't been in remission since 2003. He's had cancer the entire time we've been married. But you would never know it; that's one of the coolest things about Mike. Thankfully it's rubbed off on me too. I figure that if Mike doesn't want to talk about it and dwell on it, who am I to make it a constant topic of conversation? But sometimes that gets hard...

Friday night Mike woke up at midnight with throbbing back pain. He thought sitting up in the recliner would help, but it only got worse. At 2:30 am, he told me he needed to go to the ER. This would have always upset me, but this time was different. There's something about picking up your sleeping child to put him in a car seat to drive your husband to the ER at 2:30 in the morning that makes you angry. I wasn't angry at Mike, and I don't think I was angry at God. But I was angry. It was one of those times I just wanted a normal life, as if there is such a thing.

Today when Dr. M came in the room and told us that the PET scan results showed an increase in cancer after the current chemotherapy regimen, I couldn't hold back the tears. This was only the second time I've cried during one of Mike's doctor appointments. I can usually hold it together, but today was different. I kept thinking about Trent and how I don't want him to worry about cancer. I know you can't always protect your children from pain, but I want him to have a healthy daddy.

One of our biggest goals is to live our lives as if cancer wasn't an issue. Mike succeeds 99% of the time, and I like to think I'm getting better too. Thankfully we have a loving God and a great support system.

Mike starts another treatment tomorrow. If you think about it, say a prayer for us. I'm overwhelmed, but I'm blessed to have such a Godly husband and precious son."

Please be praying for them during this time. Here is their website as well.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelreed

A Night in the "Ante-Hood"

I wanted to write real quick because I feel like this blog is not only a place to share with you what's going on in my life (if anyone cares), but also to a place for me to vent. I am going to put a disclaimer out there about this post that if you don't like reading anything "gruesome" or "sad" about healthcare..then don't read this post. But believe me..I DO have a point to make with it.

I went into work last night, not knowing what would be ahead. I guess every night that I walk into the doors of the Labor and Delivery unit, I NEVER know who/what will be there, much less what is gonna stroll up during the night. Last night was a little different though. I was assigned to work on "Antepartum" which is the high-risk OB patients. These patients are either PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) and have to be on certain medications that they need to be watched closely, or they are in pre-term labor or simply being observed for one reason or another. The night was going pretty well so far...pretty laid back for the most part (I LIKED it!)....until about 1:00 am. We had a patient on our unit who was barely 23 weeks and her water was broken and she was already dilated 3 cm. She still had some of her fluid (which is what protects the baby), but was already leaking some of it. Well...the rest of her water broke while we were in the room and my partner and I knew it was only a matter of time. After lots of running around and calling people/doctors/NICU..at 4:18 am that little-bitty-barely 23 week old baby was born. They rushed the tiny thing to NICU to see if there was anything they could do, but they called and said they were never able to get a heartbeat. It was so incredibly sad for me to watch all of that take place. I guess it's because I have never actually been in on a delivery like that one...where it's not all happy...where it's not the right time...where you just wonder "why is this happening?". I sat and watched as the mother and father cried, yet we still had to do our work as nurses after the delivery.

You are probably wondering "Amy, why in the WORLD would you share something like that??" Well..truth is, we often wonder why God allows certain things to happen the way He does. Some people say "If God really loved us, He wouldn't do such a thing like that!" But the truth is, although God DOES love us (so much) we live in a fallen world. But God has such bigger plans than we could EVER imagine. I remember being 5 years old and my mom got pregnant. I was SO excited! I was finally gonna have a baby brother or sister! Then I came down with the chicken pox and since my mom had never had them, she got them too. She ended up losing the baby and I thought (at the ripe age of 5) that it was MY fault. I remember crying and asking my mom was it my fault...did I make the baby go away. And she explained to me then that God has a reason for everything and maybe that baby was sick anyway and needed to go be Home with Him. How neat is that though? There are thousands of "why" and "what if" questions, but the truth is, we don't have to know them all. I am the worlds worst about wanting to know answers to everything. I feel like that's the only way to have closure sometimes. But that's where our faith steps in and tells us it's ok not to have all the answers, but trusting in God will get us through. That is so much easier said than done (believe me, I know). But I am trying, each day to live with that perspective. No, I don't know why babies have to be born early and not make it, I don't know why perfect relationships seem to crumble, I don't know why good people have to die early or go through horrible circumstances, but God sees the BIG picture and He knows why. Thank you for letting me share my story..hope it wasn't too much. We'll see what tonight brings....

Seeing God in the Little Things

Here lately, I feel like God has really been working in my heart. He's doing lots of things. I have noticed just over the last week or so that I am so much happier and just have a joy that has come out of nowhere. The only place that I know to say it comes from is from my Heavenly Father above. He's the only place we can get pure joy like that. Lately, I have been able to see Him in even the smallest of things. For instance, one night last week, my roommate Natalie made a WONDERFUL dinner (understatement). She made these delicious french dip sandwiches. I had no idea what hers would taste like because I have only had those at restaurants, but let me tell ya, anything that girl makes is gold! But I took one bite and I was in heaven..seriously! I said "Oh my goodness..this is like heaven on earth!". It really felt like God came down and said "Hey Amy, What's Up?". He was giving me something to enjoy, to relish in. How neat is that?! I LOVE it when I have those little moments where I feel like God gave something to me, so specifically and it's like he is right there with his hand on my shoulder waiting to give me a big hug and say, "delight in this my sweet daughter." Then over the last couple of days, I have been off work and just been able to lay out by the pool with a good book in hand and soak up the sun. Not only is it relaxing, but just taking in a deep breath and feeling like life just can't get much better than this. I am feeling like my perspective on life is changing. Yes, it has been changed for a while, but we all have those periods of doubt. We all have those times and go through certain situations where we question and wonder "why". Trust me, I KNOW. But the truth is, we may change, people around us may change, our circumstances may change but the one thing that NEVER changes is our precious heavenly Father. His love sustains and is always there. Don't get me wrong, I have had a hard time coming to grips with this and still am. I still struggle with trusting in His perfect timing, but God is sovereign and His word tells us,

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

Job 42:2

God is SO much bigger than us AND our circumstances. We may think that we have blown it 1,000 times (and we probably have in some cases), but the truth is, if we turn to Him, with God all things are possible. I am learning more and more each day how to lean more on His promises and rebuke the lies that Satan tried to feed me because believe me, the devil is constantly trying to pour lies and rubbish into my head all day long.

I just finished reading the book "Captivating" for the 2nd time. I read it a few years ago when it first came out and I highly recommend it to anyone really. It's good for women to read to help them to see their value and it's good for guys to read to see what's really at the heart of a woman and more importantly, why it's there. Well..it's off to work for me now..3 nights of night shift..then off work for a week! YAY!

Also, my thoughts and prayers go out to my friends Robert and Dacy Lee. Robert's grandmother..also known as "Rah-Rah" has been really sick in ICU at EAMC this past week and today they are moving her to Bethany House. I pray for their family during this time. I know they all know the Lord and there is no doubt she will be in heaven, but that doesn't make a time like this any easier. Love you Bob and Dacy!!