"As the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:11-12
I know that we, as humans, sometimes find it VERY hard to forgive someone once they have wronged us no matter what they have done to hurt us. Sometimes we may even think that we have forgiven someone, but then we quickly find out that we TRULY haven't because we bring whatever wrong they have done back up AGAIN. I found this and thought it was pretty good at explaining a little bit about forgiveness.
"One of my favorite definitions of forgiveness is "giving up your right to punish". That always seemed to make good sense to me because my natural bent when hurt is to punish the one who has done the hurting. Can you relate? Sort of that "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" thing, you know. That makes perfect sense to me until I'm the one who has anything against me to send it away from me and give up her right to punish me. You see, we all want forgiveness. It is a blessed state. That is why it is so gratifying to know that God has forgiven us. He has sent our offenses far away from us by putting them on His Son, Jesus Christ. He also has given up His right to punish us. We are forgiven. That is what makes us members of His kingdom--His kingdom of forgiveness. The only catch is that, once we are members of this kingdom, we are instructed to forgive as we have been forgiven ("And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.-Ephesians 4:32). It was one of the benefits we received when we came in and one of our responsibilities as we continue to live as kingdom citizens. Forgiveness never will be based on "feelings". Rarely does anyone feel like forgiving. The choice to forgive is based on what has been done to you--nothing more, nothing less. You choose it and keep on choosing it until one day it is truth in your soul. Once that happens, the strangest thing occurs: You will feel blessed!" ---Jan Silvious
Most people that know me, know that I LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Here is a quote from Meredith that sort of goes along with this subject.
---"In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You're going to hurt people. You're going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover... there's really only one thing you can say.Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled… old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget." ---Meredith Grey
I like this quote because I think my feelings are in line with hers on this one. Like she says, in life, you are going to make mistakes, it's just our human nature. And painfully, with those mistakes we end up hurting not only ourselves, but others as well. You're right, it's not fair if someone wrongs us, or if we end up hurting them (even if it's by default). But the point is, we all need to learn to forgive. Like Meredith says, it doesn't seem practical because the first thing that comes to our minds is "how can I get back at them?" or "what can I do to hurt them?". It's the only way we can all try to get along, and you will never heal if you don't forgive. The way it was put to me one time is if you can't let go of what someone has done to you, they basically have power over you. Which makes sense to me because if you think about it that person may never know that you are mad or upset, so therefore, in the end you are only hurting yourself. I have also heard that you may think you have forgiven someone, but the true test is "if you keep beating them for it". Basically, if you keep bringing up things they did, or trying to get back at them and make them hurt the way they have hurt you, then you are not over it yet and you haven't TRULY forgiven them. A lot of times the hardest part is forgetting. Do we ever really forget?? I have certainly had to deal with this. Sometimes just not being able to forget is reason enough not to be able to forgive, but that's where God comes in. We can't do it all by ourselves, BUT it IS a commandment from God that we forgive others as He has forgiven us. Think of it this way, life is too short not to be happy. Are you really and truly happy if you have built up a hatred and resentment towards someone for something they did to you in the PAST? There is nothing you can do about it now, so the best thing to do is try to move forward. Unfortunately I guess that may mean letting go of whoever or whatever hurt you in order to truly forgive that person and have a peace in your heart about it. But look at it this way, forgiveness is probably one of the highest forms of love. It seems to me that if you can learn to overcome that obstacle, that's TRUE LOVE. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you".
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