Monday, June 29, 2009

Birthday, Rock Band and a Lesson..

This past weekend was my weekend to work (I only work 1 weekend a month). My rotation works Thursday night-Sunday night. Friday afternoon I got a call from the hospital asking if I just wanted to be on call Friday night--HECK YEAH!! So, I was able to go hang out with some girls from work for Niki's birthday. Let me tell you, it was SO much fun! We just hung out, played Rock Band and it was good for me to spend some time with my co-workers outside of work because I have really wanted to try to get to know them better! Here are some pics from the night.
Night Shift Gals!
One day last week I got to help my friend Lee with her baby for the day. She wasn't feeling well and just wanted an extra hand, so I said SURE! I did EVERYTHING! From feeding him, to playing with him, to changing his diaper, to bathing him...everything! He loves his boppy....

On another note, I was reading a friends blog and I loved her post! She had actually read one of her friends blogs and was passing along a message from that blog (did that make ANY sense??) She was talking about a book called "Can You Drink the Cup". I have never heard of it but after reading this quote she posted, I am definitely going to read it! Here is the quote she posted.

"Just as there are countless varieties of wine, there are countless varieties of lives. No two lives are the same. We often compare our lives with those of others, trying to decide whether we are better or worse off, but such comparisons do not help us much. We have to live our life, not someone else's. We have to hold our own cup. We have to dare to say: "This is my life, the life that is given to me, and it is this life that I have to live, as well as I can. My life is unique. Nobody else will ever live it. I have my own history, my own family, my own body, my own character, my own friends, my own way of thinking, speaking, and acting- yes, I have my own life to live. No one else has the same challenge. I am alone, because I am unique. Many people can help me to live my life, but after all is said and done, I have to make my own choices about how to live."

Can we say wow?! That is so true! There are so many times that we compare ourselves to others, what others are doing with their lives and what they have (I am INCREDIBLY guilty of that). But we need to realize that our life is unique. God has set us apart. We can't lead someone else's life, and the cool thing is, no one else can be US! I really needed to hear that today and wanted to continue to share. I think it's neat how God can speak to us through other people's blogs. If God has spoken to one person through my blog, then my babbling is so worth it!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Coming Back to the Heart of Worship

This past weekend was such a good weekend. Not only did I get to spend some sweet time with my friends Dacy and Robert in Birmingham, but I really felt like God spoke to me as well. Today was Robert's birthday (along with his very first Father's Day), so initially it was supposed to be a "birthday surprise" that Kyle and I were coming, but Dacy ended up having to spill the beans, but in the end, it was a great weekend. They have such a precious 3-month old baby girl, Dacy Caroline. It is just SO neat to watch Dacy and Rob with her. Dacy and Rob have been good friends of mine for years now. Dacy and I went to high school together and then I was in their wedding and now I am able to share in their joy of having a daughter! It's just SO neat how life changes. Here are a couple pics from the weekend.
Sunday was so great because we got to go visit Rob and Dacy's church, Clearwater Community Church (which I LOVE!) I felt like I was back in "Revolution" which used to be our college ministry at FBCO. Chris Harris was the college minister then and now he has started his own church in Birmingham (Chelsea) with quite a few of the same people that were leaders during the "Revolution" days. But the great thing about church this morning was the worship. To be perfectly honest, I have felt a bit disconnected from my worship for quite some time now. I used to LOVE praise and worship..it was one of my FAVORITE things to do above anything else and lately I have just sorta lost touch with that. Maybe it's because I need more of a contemporary style of worship and I haven't been involved with that lately. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sunday school class that I am in at FBCO, Mrs. Karen Scoggins is wonderful, and I feel like I'm being fed there in such a great way. But at the same time, after experiencing the type of worship I did today, it is starting to make me think otherwise. The praise band led us in a song called "Marvelous Light" and it really hit home. Not only is that such an amazing praise song, my eyes were filling up with tears, and I felt like in THAT MOMENT, I was coming back to the heart of worship. I felt like the Holy Spirit just came to me and filled me up like an empty cup, and it was such a marvelous feeling; like no other. It felt so wonderful to be able to sing at the top of my lungs and cry out to Jesus and know that He heard me. I must admit that I have struggled lately with sort of finding my place in church. I thought I had definitely found my place when I joined the One2One sunday school class about a year or so ago. It has blessed me so much and I have found great friends through that, but I am starting to think now it is time for me to try and branch out a little. I think my heart needs that contemporary worship, so I may try doing that for a while. Lately I have just been feeling a sense of "unrest" I think. I couldn't really put my finger on a word to describe what I have been feeling lately, but Natalie put it perfect to me when she said "Amy, I think you are just feeling lots of unrest right now." I think she hit the nail on the head. I am settled into my new job and the whole night shift thing is going really well! The Lord has blown me away by that. He has totally helped me adjust to nights so easily and I am SO thankful for that. I was so nervous about it and worried that it was going to turn my world upside down to be on night shift (I NEVER thought I would have been able to stay awake at night, much less sleep during the day), but God has totally made that transition easy for me. That's lets me know (even in something small) that He will provide for me; He will take care of me when I need it. He knows our needs even when we don't even know. Isn't that awesome?! It reminds me of a verse that I love that says,

"Now to him who is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..."
Ephesians 3:20

And that verse reminds me of another great verse,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

I have definitely heard that verse plenty of times before, but it's one I need to hear right now. He is telling us to not worry about anything, but take our requests to God. Tell him what you want/what you think you need. Tell Him your fears, tell him your feelings; that's what He is there for. I have realized that if I am upset, I can cry to God. I can tell Him that I don't understand, I can tell him that I'm mad/upset/hurt...He is the ultimate comforter. It's hard not to worry about things. But a footnote in my bible says, "Whenever you start to worry, stop and pray." I guess in my case, I should be praying a whole lot more than I am, because I know I'm a worry wort.

Although some parts of this weekend were tough for me, I definitely had an eye-opening experience today. It was something I needed..something I think my heart has needed for a while now; just needed to be in the right place. Here is a video of "Marvelous Light".



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Praying through a Storm...

Here is a blog from a sweet family I know Mike and April Reed. He has been battling Hodgkin's disease for quite some time now. Here is a recent post by April:

"I try not to blog much about cancer, but I guess I can break my own rule every once in a while. I feel like God wants me to open up about this subject. So, if you're looking for some cute pictures and fun stories, this probably won't be the post for you:)

This September will be 10 years since Mike's initial diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma {yes, the one with a 90% cure rate.} Mike will be 30 next month. He was diagnosed when he was 19 years old. He's spent almost 1/3 of his life with cancer. He hasn't been in remission since 2003. He's had cancer the entire time we've been married. But you would never know it; that's one of the coolest things about Mike. Thankfully it's rubbed off on me too. I figure that if Mike doesn't want to talk about it and dwell on it, who am I to make it a constant topic of conversation? But sometimes that gets hard...

Friday night Mike woke up at midnight with throbbing back pain. He thought sitting up in the recliner would help, but it only got worse. At 2:30 am, he told me he needed to go to the ER. This would have always upset me, but this time was different. There's something about picking up your sleeping child to put him in a car seat to drive your husband to the ER at 2:30 in the morning that makes you angry. I wasn't angry at Mike, and I don't think I was angry at God. But I was angry. It was one of those times I just wanted a normal life, as if there is such a thing.

Today when Dr. M came in the room and told us that the PET scan results showed an increase in cancer after the current chemotherapy regimen, I couldn't hold back the tears. This was only the second time I've cried during one of Mike's doctor appointments. I can usually hold it together, but today was different. I kept thinking about Trent and how I don't want him to worry about cancer. I know you can't always protect your children from pain, but I want him to have a healthy daddy.

One of our biggest goals is to live our lives as if cancer wasn't an issue. Mike succeeds 99% of the time, and I like to think I'm getting better too. Thankfully we have a loving God and a great support system.

Mike starts another treatment tomorrow. If you think about it, say a prayer for us. I'm overwhelmed, but I'm blessed to have such a Godly husband and precious son."

Please be praying for them during this time. Here is their website as well.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelreed

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Night in the "Ante-Hood"

I wanted to write real quick because I feel like this blog is not only a place to share with you what's going on in my life (if anyone cares), but also to a place for me to vent. I am going to put a disclaimer out there about this post that if you don't like reading anything "gruesome" or "sad" about healthcare..then don't read this post. But believe me..I DO have a point to make with it.

I went into work last night, not knowing what would be ahead. I guess every night that I walk into the doors of the Labor and Delivery unit, I NEVER know who/what will be there, much less what is gonna stroll up during the night. Last night was a little different though. I was assigned to work on "Antepartum" which is the high-risk OB patients. These patients are either PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) and have to be on certain medications that they need to be watched closely, or they are in pre-term labor or simply being observed for one reason or another. The night was going pretty well so far...pretty laid back for the most part (I LIKED it!)....until about 1:00 am. We had a patient on our unit who was barely 23 weeks and her water was broken and she was already dilated 3 cm. She still had some of her fluid (which is what protects the baby), but was already leaking some of it. Well...the rest of her water broke while we were in the room and my partner and I knew it was only a matter of time. After lots of running around and calling people/doctors/NICU..at 4:18 am that little-bitty-barely 23 week old baby was born. They rushed the tiny thing to NICU to see if there was anything they could do, but they called and said they were never able to get a heartbeat. It was so incredibly sad for me to watch all of that take place. I guess it's because I have never actually been in on a delivery like that one...where it's not all happy...where it's not the right time...where you just wonder "why is this happening?". I sat and watched as the mother and father cried, yet we still had to do our work as nurses after the delivery.

You are probably wondering "Amy, why in the WORLD would you share something like that??" Well..truth is, we often wonder why God allows certain things to happen the way He does. Some people say "If God really loved us, He wouldn't do such a thing like that!" But the truth is, although God DOES love us (so much) we live in a fallen world. But God has such bigger plans than we could EVER imagine. I remember being 5 years old and my mom got pregnant. I was SO excited! I was finally gonna have a baby brother or sister! Then I came down with the chicken pox and since my mom had never had them, she got them too. She ended up losing the baby and I thought (at the ripe age of 5) that it was MY fault. I remember crying and asking my mom was it my fault...did I make the baby go away. And she explained to me then that God has a reason for everything and maybe that baby was sick anyway and needed to go be Home with Him. How neat is that though? There are thousands of "why" and "what if" questions, but the truth is, we don't have to know them all. I am the worlds worst about wanting to know answers to everything. I feel like that's the only way to have closure sometimes. But that's where our faith steps in and tells us it's ok not to have all the answers, but trusting in God will get us through. That is so much easier said than done (believe me, I know). But I am trying, each day to live with that perspective. No, I don't know why babies have to be born early and not make it, I don't know why perfect relationships seem to crumble, I don't know why good people have to die early or go through horrible circumstances, but God sees the BIG picture and He knows why. Thank you for letting me share my story..hope it wasn't too much. We'll see what tonight brings....

Monday, June 15, 2009

Seeing God in the Little Things

Here lately, I feel like God has really been working in my heart. He's doing lots of things. I have noticed just over the last week or so that I am so much happier and just have a joy that has come out of nowhere. The only place that I know to say it comes from is from my Heavenly Father above. He's the only place we can get pure joy like that. Lately, I have been able to see Him in even the smallest of things. For instance, one night last week, my roommate Natalie made a WONDERFUL dinner (understatement). She made these delicious french dip sandwiches. I had no idea what hers would taste like because I have only had those at restaurants, but let me tell ya, anything that girl makes is gold! But I took one bite and I was in heaven..seriously! I said "Oh my goodness..this is like heaven on earth!". It really felt like God came down and said "Hey Amy, What's Up?". He was giving me something to enjoy, to relish in. How neat is that?! I LOVE it when I have those little moments where I feel like God gave something to me, so specifically and it's like he is right there with his hand on my shoulder waiting to give me a big hug and say, "delight in this my sweet daughter." Then over the last couple of days, I have been off work and just been able to lay out by the pool with a good book in hand and soak up the sun. Not only is it relaxing, but just taking in a deep breath and feeling like life just can't get much better than this. I am feeling like my perspective on life is changing. Yes, it has been changed for a while, but we all have those periods of doubt. We all have those times and go through certain situations where we question and wonder "why". Trust me, I KNOW. But the truth is, we may change, people around us may change, our circumstances may change but the one thing that NEVER changes is our precious heavenly Father. His love sustains and is always there. Don't get me wrong, I have had a hard time coming to grips with this and still am. I still struggle with trusting in His perfect timing, but God is sovereign and His word tells us,

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

Job 42:2

God is SO much bigger than us AND our circumstances. We may think that we have blown it 1,000 times (and we probably have in some cases), but the truth is, if we turn to Him, with God all things are possible. I am learning more and more each day how to lean more on His promises and rebuke the lies that Satan tried to feed me because believe me, the devil is constantly trying to pour lies and rubbish into my head all day long.

I just finished reading the book "Captivating" for the 2nd time. I read it a few years ago when it first came out and I highly recommend it to anyone really. It's good for women to read to help them to see their value and it's good for guys to read to see what's really at the heart of a woman and more importantly, why it's there. Well..it's off to work for me now..3 nights of night shift..then off work for a week! YAY!

Also, my thoughts and prayers go out to my friends Robert and Dacy Lee. Robert's grandmother..also known as "Rah-Rah" has been really sick in ICU at EAMC this past week and today they are moving her to Bethany House. I pray for their family during this time. I know they all know the Lord and there is no doubt she will be in heaven, but that doesn't make a time like this any easier. Love you Bob and Dacy!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Same All The Time

This is actually a post from a friend, but I found it SO encouraging that I wanted to share it. It spoke to my heart so much and was exactly what I needed to hear! I hope you like it and it speaks to your heart the same way it did mine...

"The Same All The Time


For I know that sometimes the things that we think are for sure
They fad like the ending of day

Sometimes the things that we think are secure
Pass away

For I know that sometimes the things that we seek and we find
Break both our hearts and our mind

But Lord, you are the same
The same all the time!

I pray that as anxious and uncertain as my heart is I can find rest and peace in knowing that my God is the same all the time. No matter how sad or scared I may be... He is here.

Even know right now my heart is very sad. I do have some encouragement to share! God wants to do so much more in our lives than just grant our desires. He wants to give us what we NEED. To simply provide what we want would be much too easy for our heavenly Father. AMEN!

I read these words today and they truly shook me. " Why do we love Christ? Simple- because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). That is what makes His love so beautiful. He loved us when we didn't care a thing about Him. He loved us so much that, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). God loves us anyway and PURSUES us continually until we finally love Him back!"

To know that God is pursuing us no matter where life may find us right now makes me have so much joy! Praise God! Happy, sad, scared, depressed, sick, tired, worn down, God is still pursuing your heart and mine. He wants to connect with us no matter where we are!"

--Thank you for your words Savannah!!



Monday, June 8, 2009

I Made It!

Well..I can safely say that I made it through my very first night shift EVER! Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (which is what everyone said). I thought it would be incredibly hard to stay awake because for those of you who know me, know that I am definitely a morning person and have been for the last 2 years. So, I wasn't really sure how this whole night thing was gonna work for me, but it may end up being ok. It wasn't too hard to stay awake as long as I had something to do, then around 4:00 am I started feeling sleepy but that's when other patients started rolling in, and gave me my "2nd wind" so to speak. The drive home was the WORST though! I was SO sleepy by that point! But once I finally made it in the bed, sleep was pretty good. Hopefully tonight will be the same! I am so appreciative of all the encouragement that I have gotten from everyone including friends, co-workers etc. Thanks!!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Few of my Favorite Things..

I don't know what has compelled me to write another post...maybe because I'm bored..who knows. But I have seen others do this and thought it would be neat. These are some current things that are staple items (things that if I were to have to do without; it would be hard to function). Here goes...

1.) My Phone-The Blackberry- I admit that I don't know what I would do without my phone. Some people can't stand cell phones and think the world would be a better place without them (since we were able to exist without them for many years before), but for me...it is one of my only ways of communication. I keep my appointments in my phone, I text (like a madman) on my phone...I don't know what I would do without it.






2.) MY iPod- I am a lover of music. I find TONS of meaning in music. I think lots of times
others can say/express what I'm feeling better than I can. I carry my iPod in the car with me (since I have a 45 min drive to work), I play it while I am getting ready or just hanging out, while we are making dinner at home...whenever I can really! I am constantly on iTunes downloading new music and I am always finding new songs and artists that I fall in love with. My new current finds are:
*Belief-Gavin Degraw
*Something I Said-SafetySuit
*Closer to Love-Mat Kearney
*Be There-Howie Day
*Her Diamonds-Rob Thomas
*My Baby Blue-Dave Matthews Band
*The Funeral-Band of Horses
*Can't Help Falling in Love-Ingrid Michaelson
*Turn to Stone-Ingrid Michaelson
Those are just a very few of many!

3.) Chapstick- I keep a tube of chapstick in
my purse, in my pocket at work, beside my bed...I ALWAYS have chapstick. And it MUST have SPF especially for the summer months because the worst is getting sunburned lips! I can't stand it when my lips are dry, hence the fact, I ALWAYS have chapstick.

4.)It's A 10 (leave in conditioner)- I use this on my hair EVERYDAY. My hair is naturally
wavy/curly so it gets so many tangles while I'm trying to brush it out. This stuff works WONDERS. If you have a problem with tangles and it takes you forever to brush out your hair, this is the product for you! love it!











5.) COFFEE!- I don't know what it is about mornings, but I HAVE to have a cup of coffee
RIGHT when I get up in the mornings. That's the only time I drink it, but I crave it when I wake up in the mornings. I don't even think I drink an entire cup..EVER..but boy that's the very first thing I do when I get up (besides use the bathroom) is make coffee.







6.) Moxi Box (or better known as TiVo)- I love to watch TV but can never seem to find the
time to actually be at home when my favorite shows are on, so this is a PERFECT invention for me. My roommate and I are always coming home and watching shows that were recorded days before. If I didn't have this, I would never be able to keep up with TV!

7.) My Camera- I absolutely LOVE my camera and I take it everywhere with me. Actually, it
lives in my purse because I never want to pass up a moment for a great picture. I love taking pictures and capturing special moments!







8.) Lotion- I know, I know, sounds crazy, but after working in Labor and Delivery, around
babies so much (and this is the only lotion available there), I have grown to love Johnson's baby lotion. I wash my hands SO many times throughout the day that they get incredibly dry, so I keep a small bottle of this in my pocket and it makes my hands feel so soft. Not only can I not stand having dry lips (hence the chapstick) but I cannot stand having dry hands!





I know this post may be kinda cheesy, but whatever. Looking back at my list, it's kinda sad that most of the items are electronics. Makes me wonder...what would I do if the power failed and all we had was running water and candles??

Facing the Giants

I finally watched "Facing the Giants" last night. I know it has been out for a long while now, but I finally watched it and I must say, aside from the cheesy acting at times, it was a GREAT movie. It brought up quite a few points that I feel like I need to consider in my life. For those of you who haven't seen the movie or don't know what it's about; it's basically about facing your giants. It's about loving God no matter what. Loving and praising God in the good times and the bad times; whether you win or lose. At one point in the movie, a man is telling a story about 2 landowners who had been praying for rain because there had been a drought in the area for years. Here is the clip from the movie..I don't think I could do it justice...


That was such a great point to me because I think so many times we ask God for so many things that we aren't ready for and we don't even realize it. Whatever it may be, I think we all need to start preparing ourselves for it because I have learned that God has our best interest in mind and He is not going to give us something if our hearts aren't ready. Lots of times we agonize over handing something over to God because we think we can handle it better when often times, the minute we finally relinquish it all...that's when BIG things happen. I know it's a constant struggle of mine, but it's definitely something I'm working on.